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So that was our first purchase at the Everything to do with sex show this weekend. Pretty lame eh? or was it?

Wasn’t the fact that we were there, set us apart from many couples who still find it taboo to delve into this particular world of sexuality? So being the geek that I am…I had to do some research on the topic. According to a New York Times Article, even though the word “vibrator” still gets a giggle and blushes, it’s actually quite widely used. 53% of all women and nearly half of all men have used one in the bedroom. And my notion of the vibrator being used by the lonely women who don’t have a guy to do the deed with is wrong too!  The article makes it clear that the vibrator — dismissed as a “masturbatory machine” for “sexually dysfunctional females” in The Journal of Popular Culture back in 1974 — is being used by couples for shared pleasure. 81%of women and 91% of men who’ve used one report having done so with a partner.

And when it came to this show, the vibrator was just the beginning. The amount of toys and tools and straps and whips…was completely overwhelming! So where does a couple start? It was a wee bit intimidating for both Adam and I.  We actually didn’t even know what half of the things in there even did. So of course our first purchase was some lovely scented candles, that when the wax melted you could use it as a massage cream for your partner.

But then we went to one of the shows many seminars; a guy who took the time to explain some of the different sex toys out there and how we could incorporate them into our sex life as a couple. And once the seminar ended, both Adam and I were no longer the timid candle buyers, but we totally went for it! So in my next few blogs I’m going to talk about some of the things we learned, and explain some of the things that we’ve tried. This is our first year of adding some toys into our relationship and as we figure it all out, we’ d love to share it with all of you. (so that you can skip the candles and go straight for the good stuff!)

So this was my first ever sex toy purchase: Joy Balls.

What are they? They are two silicon covered balls that you insert into your vagina. They vibrate inside of you and kinda give you a bit of a massage while training your vaginal muscles and pelvic floor to intensify pleasure for you AND your partner. Love balls have actually been used since the Late Middle ages. Even Japanese Geishas used them to tone their muscles so that they could give their customers more pleasure.  The muscle that is being trained is called the PC muscle. It runs from the public bone to the coccyx and surrounds the vagina. Wearing the joyball in the vagina stretches this pelvic floor muscle. And through the slight movements of the internal balls and the balls own weight you are training this muscle. Pelvic floor training means you experience more pleasure during sex since its the vaginal muscle that is responsible for arousal and the ability to orgasm. You can hold you partner’s penis more firmly when these muscles are stronger – that will drive him wild! Also, many use joyballs after giving birth to firm up the muscles again, and it’s also supposed to help with preventing bladder problems when you are older.

So what did it feel like?I popped them in for just a little while the first time. You could feel them in there, but after a while you really forgot about them. Lying in bed, Adam and I added taking them out to our foreplay and it was quite exciting to feel them being pulled out slowly by him. The second day I wore them for about 4hrs while we walked around. (they suggest 4hrs per day to train muscles properly) Walking around you can definitely feel the internal balls in them move around, and it did turn me on a little as they gently massaged the inside of me. Plus it was a huge turn-on for both of us when in the middle of a huge crowd, I leaned over to Adam and told him  that I had them inside of me! They suggest slightly tensing your muscles once in a while for an added workout. (kinda like you are holding in your pee) and that felt pretty exciting too. By the end of the 4hrs, I was very horny and really wanted to get Adam back into the bedroom ASAP!

So that was our first ever sex toy in the bedroom. And there were more that weekend…but I’ll let Adam describe some of them too.

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